MidgeLiveGigsNewUploads9-2011 what's Midge? guestbook, reviews conspiracies,Twitreatise contact lisa mick/midge HeavenlyRevolutionsCD NEWs, dates, quotes.... amazin talkin mime, weather francronyms,Bidens Lawn PALINS! setlists, blablablog what's Midge huh? MP3s & some lyrics what is midge? some lyrics what's Midge2? MP3s & some lyrics1 what's Midgew/IMTY? what's Midge?XMAS MP3s & some lyrics1 what's Midge?2-06 what's Midge2010? what's Midge?1 what's Midge1? what's Midge B? conspiracies,TwitreatiseOK, so a lot of Frannie Fans ask me: “Frannie, what do you think about conspiracies?”And I usually say: “I’m for them.”***By that I ONLY mean I think they exist. I mean, conspiracy theories certainly exist, & I admit some of them are kind of weird, but then, so are some things. And if things, and people, are weird, I don’t see any reason why theories shouldn’t be weird. Now I don’t buy EVERY conspiracy-theory. Firstly, I don’t even know most of them, and some of the ones I’ve heard I can’t follow.Secondly, some of them contradict each other, so you can’t really believe all of them. Well, I guess you could but it would take a lot of effort. It would be very time-consuming, & I’ve got a BLOG to write. On the other hand, they’re very popular, & I am here to serve the public.The emails I’ve received from my conspiracy-theory friends (or ARE they my/your friends? Note to self-- look into this) got me to thinking about some of the traditional conspiracy-theory-provoking phenomena of yesteryore.The best ones, in my opinion (I’m not including political ones like Roswell or dead presidents-- too serious, depressing, and dangerous), are:1. BIGFOOT/ Sasquatch2. THE LOCH NESS MONSTER (or Locked Nest Monster)3. UFOs4. THE BERMUDA TRIANGLEFrom what I hear, in the 70's & 80's you couldn’t hardly get anywhere near Bermuda without getting sucked into that crazy triangle. I was so scared of it from the stories I was told growing up that to this day I avoid men inBermuda shorts.Nowadays, I don’t know what happened-- maybe it has to do with new flight patterns-- but it seems like you can’t hardly get yourself arrested in the dang BT. I don’t even know if it’s still there. Maybe a black hole swallowed it, or an asteroid went through it, or something.Still, there’s no doubt that it WAS there, back in the day, along with the other three, so I came up with a theory that pretty much solves all four.Scientifically speaking, the most likely explanation for the ubiquity, followed by the near-absence, of these four phenomena is:1. Sasquatch was washing his face in the Loch Ness, staring in the water all Narcissus-like, when what should happen?2. The Loch Ness Monster up & eats him, one bite.3. Next thing you know, along comes a UFO & takes ol' Nessy up in a beam of light, like was always happening in the olden days.4. 'Course the rest is obvious: the UFO got sucked into the Bermuda Triangle-- end of story.Anyway, that's what I think happened. If anyone knows anything about any of this that I’ve missed, or especially if you have pictures, please email me at this site. Luv yas!***(I personally am NOT interested in BEING in a conspiracy of any kind. Frannie-fans may have noticedI'm not your group-think-type-person, not a ganger-upper. Let's just say I'm a tad idiosynchratic. That's how I roll.)This color is not a conspiracy o hurt you eyes; it just truned out this way.Love, Frannie (people have been asking: it's short for Francine)*THis color is not a conspiracy to hurt your eyes. It's an experiment.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ FACT-FIND with FrannieFrancine FRANNIE'S FIRST TWO CENTS this summer, unless you count that list on Franslists, which was a reference to when that Senator said "Don't call me ma'am, call me Senator." (also my 1st real blog entry since1-09) Dateline July 10, 2009: A Treatise on Twitter: (Tweetise)PART 1, Thesis:So ever since I started tweeting, it seems like it’s taken me away from the more in-depth, investigative-type blogging I started out doing here on the Midge site. I don‘t wanna brag, but at times I can be a wise-acre, & swap bon-mots & brief souls of wit with the best of em, especially when I’m on a roll, or a little tipsy, but really, there’s more to life than 140 characters, even when you keep adding 140 to 140 to 140 to 140 and so on, like I tend to do. There’s just something stifling about that format, because you know nobody reads it anyway, unless you’re already super famous. In which case you don’t even have to tweet ANYTHING to get 1000s & 1000s of followers. (And that “followers” thing kind of creeps me out-- too Jim Jonesey-- even though the “friends” thing creeps me out too. I don’t know what to call it, maybe just “readers.” Even tho, like I said, I don’t think most people read them.)(BTW, when you sign the MIDGE guestbook, you only have to be a GUEST! You don't need a password or anything, & you don't even have to give your email address. It's very CLASSY. Also, as hosts, Midge aims for excellent service & hospitality. CONTINENTAL BREAKFAST is served every day in the lobby, & they put a MINT on your PILLOW every night.)PART2, TWITTERERS/ I don't get it:I was following a certain band-that-shall-remain-nameless on there for a while, cuz I know Midge likes 'em, but they had like a gazillion people on there before even one tweet. And then when they finally tweeted it was just: “Here’s our first tweet,” & apparently the masses ate it up like it was Watermelon in Georgia or Nabokov on a good day, cuz they just kept getting more & more “followers” after that.I don’t really get it.PART3: HOLLYWOOD TYPES:Of course all the famous, "well-connected" types talk back & forth to each other, like it‘s some big Hollywood party & you got in by accident cuz you know the butler or something, but everybody just ignores you, like in that weird Cortazar story where the lady's hired to watch the rich people's dogs & has to stay in a separate room with them. (It's a pretty good story actually...Think it's called "At Your Service")It wouldn’t even matter if you were Abraham Lincoln (I mean before anybody knew who he was, & before he was president & all, which I know makes no sense because they didn‘t have Tweeter yet, back then, but it‘s just a for-instance) cuz nobody would even notice.You could be all: 4 score & 7 years ago, & everybody’d be all: “BORING! Hey I wonder if Ashton Kushner is showing Dinty Moore’s underwear again?”PART3B: ABE LINCOLN CONT./ AMWAY/ PALIN :Not that I’m any Abe Lincoln, or Don Rickles or anything, but occasionally I thought I knocked off some pretty good tweets, & even though I had over 30 followers it wasn’t like any of them seemed 2 really pay any attention. Plus there were all these weird things, like if I’d mention Amway, all of a sudden a bunch of Amway people were on there following me. I don’t even know how they knew I’d mentioned it, but there they were. Then after a while they’d figure out I wasn’t really selling Amway, & they’d pull a Palin & quit me like I was Alaska.But it’s all good. Lydell says just pay attention to this Midge website once in a while, because who knows, maybe one day someone will read it... & anyway, it’s my job & all. PART4: CONCLUSIONIn conclusion, I'm not saying there's not lots of good stuff on there (Tweeter), or that the Hollywood people shouldn't be all Velvet Ropey, or Real Housewifey, or whatever... I'm just making an observation about the "social interaction" part, which is that it's not really social, or interactive. Is all. I'm 1st & foremost a reporter, & I tell it like it is, like Judge Mablean does.Well, I know there’s lots more to blog at ya but I just wanted to check in & say hey!It’s sort of the unofficial 1st anniversary of this site, because I really only got started around this time last year. I remember it was around the 4th of July cuz of that firecracker accident. This year I played it safe & just celebrated with a marching band. Say what you want about him being cornball, but it’s hard to stay in a bad mood when Sousa’s in the house.See you Soon.Luv Yas! xo, Frannie America is crazy for lists!! And since I'm crazy for America, I wanted to do the patriotic thing and share some of my faves with you! Also I'm getting a jump on all those "end of the year" lists. This is a brand new journey so bear with the editorial staff and me as we sift through tons and tons of highly scientific polls, controlled double-blind studies, and other sensitive, sometimes even classified, data to bring you the most current of lists. (Special thanks to NASA!)We are trying to get some data opened based on the American Act of Openness for the People. Otherwise we'll work with what we've got (I'm starting you off with just two for today, 9-10-08.)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Update ALERT: Dateline Sept 08: Poll results are in! 3rd 4th & 5th LISTS--BEST GRUDGES, Best modes of Transportation, & Best Seasons are BELOW BEST FRUITS!!! *********EMERGENCY HOLIDAY UPDATE: DECEMBER! Look to right for great ideas on GEMS for your beloved. Or for whomever you have to buy stuff. For.Fran’s Lists:BEST LISTS1. This one2. The other ones that will be on this page3. David Letterman4. 5. Undecided6. Shopping list (necessary)7. Santa’s list8. Cosmo’s top ten ways to please your man lists9. Lydell’s favorite movies (will not appear on this page)10. no contenders-- Keep trying, other lists!BEST FRUITS1. Watermelon2. Cherries3. Peaches4. Plums5 Oranges (squeezed)6. Oranges (not squeezed)7. Tangerines8. Bananas9. Apples (if good) (sorry apples, you came in after oranges in the comparison this time)10. Watermelon (so popular this year it received two places in the polls!)11. ALL BERRIES: rasp, blue, straw, et al12. Apples in pie (hope that makes you feel better, apples!)Special note about above list: these fruits may change order depending on season, mood, availability, safety, and freshness.There may be new fruits added and old ones removed. Keep checking back to see if your favorite reaches number one!!!!!!!! HEY, IT'S ME, FRANNIE! I'm yelling so you don't miss the NEW LIST right->Yes, I mean NEW, June 16 2009, Things to call me besides Senator. You'd have to be some sort of dangerous nutjob or weirdo NOT to read it, & I know that's not the case. xo!!! BEST GRUDGES1. Professional (PAID)2. Familial 3. Political4. Familial/Political Combo5. Intergenerational6. Unrequited7. Long Distance8. Irrational9. Primordial10. Romantic11. Infectious12. Terminal13. Competitive14. Itchy & Unrelenting15. Preemptive16. Inter-species17. inter-planetary (FU Saturn!) NOTE ABOUT RATINGS:These grudge ratings are final and binding, & will not be amended, unless the official grudge committee (OGC) feels like it.Anyone who disagrees with this list -- DEAL WITH IT! Suck It Up or Walk It Off!YOU BIG BABIES!!! Best Modes of Transportation 1. JETPACK!2. Rocketship3. Hovercraft4. Extremely well-appointed gas-guzzling tour bus5. Stilts6. Monorail7. Private Jet8. Pogo Stick9. Skipping10. Piggyback11. Lincoln Town Car (should fit actual town)12. Earth Shoes13. Moon Walk14. Unicycle15. Tandem bike (only if in love or very old)16. Harley Davidson Hog17. Rascal/Scooter18. Stretcher/Ambulance19. Gurney20. Public TransportationHonorable mention:1. Flying Saucer2. Horse (go horsey, go!!!)3. Elephant (actually a fave but not readily available in the States)4. Bareback5. One-horse-open-sleigh6. Rickshaw7. Riding the rails, hobo-style8. Alpine skiing9. St. Bernard10. Camel11. Galapagos Sea Turtle Editor's note about this FRUIT section, 9-12-08:We appreciate the overwhelming email response we have received about your favorite fruits. As I (Fran) have stated many times, I believe very strongly in the polls of the Americans. But People, PLEASE!!!! Let's keep this civil. I do NOT think coconut is even a fruit, and in any case is it really worth using that kind of language-- & making those kinds of threats -- over the issue? Keep those emails coming, but let's be good sports! Remember, the rotations will change, and even KIWI could get its chance at the top spot!!! The best way to ensure that your fruit wins is to vote often. Good Luck! NEW LIST!!! 6-19-09 a.m.Things I like to be called besides "Senator Francine"(I swear, if Letterman did this as his list last night, I will join that protest! Anyway, my list is TWICE as long, double the value!)1. Hotstuff2. Hotpants3. Hot Tomato4. Her Hotness/ Your Hotness5. Very Attractive Nice Lady6. Babe-alicious7. Duchess8. Sweetie-Pie9. Cutie-Pie10. Your Honor11. Judge Judy12. Fancy Pants13. What a Dame!14. Empress15. The Dish that Can't Miss16. Sweet Cheeks17. Too Cool Not To Rule18. Webmistress To The Stars19. Hey You20. Actually, Just Francine is Fine(BTW, see the red list below for more great name ideas!) OK, so this list is a twofer!It serves as great ideas for NAMES for children you might happen to have or plan to have soon. Or didn't plan to have but have anyway. Or even pets. And also these are GEMS for JEWELRY for THAT SPECIAL SOMEONE. Plus they're BIRTHSTONES, but I'm not sure which is what. I'll add that later. For now, feast your fancy on these babies! The first list is good in that these names are underused by the general public. The second list is old favorites that never go out of style. BEST GEM NAMES for people or pets,* or GIFT IDEAS for the HOLIDAYS!!!!!1. Zircon2. Tourmaline3. Citrine4. Peridot5. Jasper6. Lapis Lazuli7. Onyx, or Onxy8. Moonstone9. Agate10. Cubic ZirconiumOld faves!Pearl OpalRubyAlexandriteQuartzP.S. If you like any of these better than your child's current name, feel free to rename him or her. Especially if they're young; they won't even remember. And if they do you can tell them they dreamed it. For older children, consult a specialist before renaming, or use as "nickname." (* you can also use these to name plants, if you're into that) Before the Beginning To see all content, you will need the current version of Adobe Flash Player. |